So I let the dog out before bed. He goes dashing across the deck into the darkness after something. I call him back in and grab a flashlight. I walk outside, look around, and upon finding nothing, stroll back inside to brush my teeth.
Fast forward 20 or so minutes. We’re in bed. Not sleeping mind you, but in bed nonetheless. Read into that statement as much as you think you should and you’re probably right on the money. I hear the boards of the deck outside the bedroom creak and then I’m sure I hear voices outside.
We freeze. (Told you to read into that statement.) I listen for a moment; can’t be sure if I hear anything else or not. I wait for a moment. I’m sure I heard something. Did the wind carry the neighbors’ voices? Dunno.
Flashlight. Closet. Pistol. I walk up the hall and stare at the the door in the dining room leading out onto the deck. Darkness. Nothing. Back to the bedroom. “I heard something outside and then I heard a voice.” She agrees. So over to the door I go. I take a deep breath and flip on the outside light and peek out. Darkness stares back at me. I pull the door open about a foot and poke my head out…
Lights hit me in the face. “COBB COUNTY POLICE. STEP OUT OF THE HOUSE.” I’m looking directly ahead and down off the deck. Just past the gun barrel I can see the guy’s head, the tops of his shoulders and the edge of his badge. There’s at least two more in my peripheral vision.
“STEP OUTSIDE TO THE RAIL.” It goes off in my head that it really is the cops, so I realize that it’s probably good for me to put the pistol down before walking outside.
I lean over and set the pistol on the carpet and step out onto the deck; walk up and put my hands on the railing. Four cops. One straight ahead; one down the steps; and two more off to the right. One had a sub-machine gun.
Turns out the neighbors saw the flashlight and thought someone was breaking into the house, so they called the cops.
I was **significantly** underdressed for this occasion.